My Husband’s Masonry Enriches Our Relationship

By Norelle Done, wife of PM Danny Done of Queen Anne Lodge No. 242

My husband, Danny has been very active in his Lodge since he joined Freemasonry in 2009. Freemasonry has been a significant part of our lives, contributing not only an additional social circle to our lives, but also contributes an additional intellectually stimulating layer to our relationship.

I’ll give you an example…

Like any young, busy millennial couple, Sunday nights are oftentimes used to retreat with Netflix and a glass of wine. The other night, we were watching an episode of a comedy TV show called “How I Met Your Mother”, starring Josh Radnor, Jason Segel, and Neil Patrick Harris. It was an episode from season 7, where the characters are attempting to break up the relationship between Barney Stinson and his girlfriend, Quinn. The group’s antics are triggered after Barney tells his friend, Ted, that Quinn is a stripper by profession. Barney only tells Ted that fact after he swears to keep it secret, by raising his right hand and swearing with his left upon the “Bro Code”.

Here’s the screenshot:

Ted (at left) places his left hand on the “Bro Code” to swear to keep Barney’s (at right) secret.

At this point in the episode, Danny paused the show to comment on the scene and said, “You know, when presidents and other state officials take oaths, they put their left hand on the bible, and raise their right hand… in Freemasonry, we raise the left hand.”

Now, I should note that not only have we been married for 6 ½ years, but for the past 4 years we’ve owned and managed a business together. We work 12-hour days just a few feet away from each other. So it’s moments like these that I appreciate the input of knowledge that a) is not work related, and b) isn’t something we’ve talked about before. Intellectual, historical, and philosophical conversations stimulate and help build any relationship, and Freemasonry has spawned hundreds of conversations such as these over our years together.

In this particular instance, our conversation lasted just a few minutes, as we noted our individual knowledge of different methods of making oaths, salutes, and hand gestures in solemn situations. A few hypotheses surfaced between the two of us about the discrepancy of the use of raising one’s left versus right hand. However, the moment stood out to me as a minor epiphany; these side bar conversations are one of the reasons why I love that Danny is a Freemason.

By being personally connected to traditions and to an organization that dates back centuries, meanwhile still plays a significant role in our lives, we have a special opportunity among couples. It adds a layer of appreciation for pop culture and great conversations, and we’ve also been blessed with very different perspectives while we travel.

I venture to think the significant others of most Freemasons feel the same. While yes, sometimes I roll my eyes when Danny forgets that he already told me something that he finds interesting, or when he tells that one story about the Knights Templar at a party for the millionth time, I’ll always appreciate this added dynamic to our relationship. It’s a wonderful element brought to the table by the friendships we’ve made through Freemasonry, and also the infusion of relevant historical, philosophical and metaphysical ‘Easter eggs’ of knowledge that have become an integral part of our relationship, even in the casual setting of Sunday nights watching Netflix.

Featured photo source: Pixabay.com

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